Deborah Leblanc, Season 3 Ep. 7

Kelly: 0:02

Welcome to the LAF life podcast, a lifestyle podcast based on living alcohol free and a booze soaked world. My name is Kelly Evans and together with my friends, Tracey Djordjevic, and Lindsay Harik. We share uncensored. Unscripted real conversations about what our lives have been like since we ditched alcohol and how we got here by sharing our individual stories. We'll show you that there isn't just one way to do this, no matter where you are on your journey from sober, curious to years in recovery and everyone in between, you are welcome here, no judgment and a ton of support.

Lindsey: 0:40

Hey everybody, welcome back to the laugh life podcast. Thanks for joining us today. One ask that I have is that before we get started here, don't forget to follow us so that you don't miss any new episodes and they come out every Tuesday. So we have a really awesome episode plan for you guys today. We have a guest. We've got Debra LeBlanc joining us from Winnipeg, Manitoba. Hi, Debra.

Kelly: 1:10

Hey, Debra. Hi, Debra.

Lindsey: 1:13

I met Debra because every year, I get a little calendar in my mailbox at home, and it's beautifully done. It's got a really nice pattern. picture of my home on it. of my mailbox and it's go of the next year on it. A was there and I thought y give her a call. I didn't this and I called her up so if you haven't guessed it yet, Debra is a real estate agent and yeah, I called her up. I didn't even expect her to answer the phone because it was like some weird hour and she did right away. She was driving. I was like, Oh my God. And we started talking on the phone and I just really liked her vibe and her energy. And she came to look at my house and she had mentioned Hey, I noticed that you're alcohol free and have this podcast. And then she revealed to me that she was alcohol free as well. So we had this moment and I was like, Oh my God. So today Debra is on the show and we're just going to ask her some questions and talk a little bit about her story. So welcome to the podcast, Deborah.

Deborah: 2:27

Thank you. You're welcome. I guess let's start at the beginning, talk to us a little bit about what your first memories of alcohol are. First memories of alcohol. Yeah. Probably that would bring me back to childhood. My parents were heavy drinkers. Okay. Yeah. So they were very heavy drinkers and then their parents were heavy drinkers. So I remember Christmas, Thanksgiving, everyone getting together, lots of alcohol flying around, seemed like it started out with wine and then would escalate and the bottles of vodka would come out. Yeah. Everyone would get loud and then The fights would start but not fight, but, arguing. Yeah. I remember that very clearly. And then me and my brother just running for cover to get out of the line of fire, cause it got pretty loud and, not real nice things being said to one another. It was pretty, yeah, it was not positive for sure. but as a kid, you just think this is just what they do. So that would be like my first like remembering, but my first experience with it. I was just thinking about that going the first time it was funny. It was just a bunch of girls at a slumber party that started out at a pool party at the beginning of the day and the parents left for a little while and we just a drink at my friend's dad's bar. And I remember we thought we had to do it fast. There was like probably eight or ten of us, right? And so have a little of this. We don't even know what we were doing. So we're just kids, right? But so of course you're taking shots of all these different things and just. Drunk immediately. How old were you, Debra? I was probably 12, 12, 13 years old. So it was just like, I don't know, it was innocent really, so I didn't, but it was hard to think back. But if you're asking when maybe I started like a relationship with it myself. Yeah. Tell us about that. I would think because probably the later teens started doing that a little bit more, right? And you'd, experiment with smoking pot and all that back in the day. So we're talking in the eighties, right? Yeah. And innocently enough, but definitely escalated in my twenties. I remember it escalated in my twenties to the end of my twenties. To where the drinking was getting to be getting so drunk that you would black out, right? And hearing stories about myself the next day. And I just thought it was funny and, whatever. I got to that point. I don't know if other people did. It was just something that was going on back then, right? AgAin, innocently enough, you're just partying, having fun, but we're, gosh, and then you start thinking, and then you go into that kind of denial thing when you're in your thirties and thinking this is just what everyone does. They come drink in the evening when you get home from work, right? Yeah. So now you're in your thirties and you're getting home from work and drinking or meeting. your significant other at the bar, from work to the bar. That happened a lot. And then you had your group of friends there at the bar and, it's a meeting place like cheers, we're all outside. I'm from Southern California, so that would have been there. So after work and it's warm and you're outside, and it's so easy, it goes back really good before you know you're drunk, right? Yeah. So the years really, they fly by, kids come into the picture, so kids came into the picture. A little later for me, I started a little later, and because of too much drinking, okay? If you really look at it that way, we're having too much fun partying. Yeah. So I got put off and put off. So I didn't have my first baby till I was 36, which fine, whatever, but then, yeah, so the babies come and then, okay, you got all your babies now and just, drinking resumed after that. Terribly enough, but it was definitely at a different level. I was definitely at a more responsible level, not getting to the point where I couldn't function. But again, as they get older, I noticed my habit got worse and worse. So I'm two years sober. Just happened on November one. So congratulations. How it just finally hit me. I was having these back pains, of course, about that like the lower back. I was happy. And I thought it was just cause I'm getting older back pains, whatever, but no, it's more down by where your kidneys are. And on both sides of that lower back. So I was like, okay, I didn't want to know, but I did want to know, but I didn't. I had this pain for at least six months and I'm like, wow. Gosh, what am I doing? I need to take my kids or, when was this two years ago? So 29 and 19 and 17 and 15. I'm like, I got to get responsible. So I went online, start Googling, just to see, of course, as we do. Yeah. Freaking out. Oh my God, my kidneys are damaged. I've just done it and I probably wrecked my liver and everything else. And so I said, that's it, I'm done. And I literally I never drank again after that on November 1st, I had another drink. I made an appointment with my doctor for one week later because I wanted to make sure I could do this. And it was actually really easy for me. And I was a drink every night. person. Wow. Just step back. I drank every night. And drank until I could fall asleep just right. Let's be real, right? So it started about eight in the evening. Once my work was done and I knew I didn't talk to anyone, didn't have to do anything. All my listings were there. All my work was done. I could drink and so that was between eight and 10, 10 30 every night. It was a lot of alcohol consumption, a lot. So yeah, I was really freaked out when I saw that. So a week later, after I was sober for one week, I called the doctor and she had me come in. So I admitted to her and basically told her what I just told you guys. And she goes, okay, I'll send you in for blood tests. So I went in for blood tests, the next day I wanted to go and know, yeah. Clean. Perfect. All of my functions. Perfect. I'm like, wow. Wow. Wow. So like new lease on life. Yeah, new lease on life. So where some people maybe could have gone well, I can still drink, right? Yeah. No, because I really thought maybe there was something wrong and even with the blood test, I still thought, Oh, come on, how could that be? But I took it and went and just started working out. And it's just amazing how everything changes, yeah. Skin the way you feel and you just the energy levels and you just want to tell everyone, yeah,

Tracey: 9:21

Deborah, when you googled that, what were you coming up with that you were concerned about when you googled what was going on with you? okay, this is two years talked about all differen damages of alcohol on you course your liver and plus What else was there? Those are the main ones, bad for your heart. It's just so bad for your body. It's literally it's poison, but the damage is, but was it the, is it the liver that can the liver can rejuvenate itself. Yes. Yes. So basically it was almost like an education for you and all the things alcohol was doing to your body.

Deborah: 10:09

Yeah, and it's not like I didn't know this could possibly happen, but you want to ignore it and ignore it.

Kelly: 10:15

Yeah. But once you know it, like you read it, you can't unknow it. Yeah. And you got the pain and the ache. And I really think that ache because literally within a week of quitting that ache down there that I'd had for at least six months in my kidney area was gone. What? It was gone. Yeah, I went away. Oh my God. There had to be a relationship.

Tracey: 10:38

It was probably related, for sure. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Deborah: 10:43

Yeah.

Lindsey: 10:43

Reminds me of Kelly's gout story. Yeah. Oh my kidneys are probably this big.

Kelly: 10:53

Your body always tells you when there's something going on, if we pay attention, right? Yeah. Pop an Advil every day, right? Yeah. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. Terrible. Can I go back to what you were saying. I just caught. When you were in your 30s, you said you're in denial. So all along, was there something in the back of your mind that was telling you, okay, maybe I shouldn't be drinking this much, or were you having things happen that were regrets the next day or what what did you mean when you said that?

Deborah: 11:26

Definitely doing stupid things. Okay. You do stupid things. You say stupid things. There was one episode this would have been in my thirties, but the family still jokes about it where. We were down at the dock, so the cabins up here and then the docks down there. It's a ways. And I was down talking with one of my nieces who was, I don't know, 15 or 17 at the time. Apparently just, I was drunk and I'm climbing up the hill and everyone was in the cabin watching me climbing up. I knew I was wasted drunk and I didn't know they were looking at me just stupid things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Been there. Yeah, just totally stupid. And of course I laugh, it's embarrassing because yes, it is. I was shouldn't be like that. And I was always the person that got just that over that edge a little too much. Yeah. Every time. Yeah. Every time. You too. Me too. Yeah. Never. Could I just have one

Lindsey: 12:25

glass of wine? No, I used to love the red wine. That was my thing. And I would never just have one glass. And I was always the last person to leave. And the drunkest person in the room never failed. Even if I went in to say, I'm just gonna have one glass of wine, like, when you talk about Christmases, my Christmases at my mom's house, Christmas Eve, was a freaking shit show. We started out, my sisters and I drinking, having fun, then it got to the point we were screaming at each other, crying, and then we make up and have fun, and then I was blacked out, and that it was

Deborah: 13:02

Yeah. Horrible. And my brother was an alcoholic as well. So it ran in the family. My brother's sober four years in December. He did it before me and that, his was, I don't want to talk about him, but yeah, if he could do that and change his life around for what he did, I was like, I have to do this. Inspired. Isn't he? He's in L. A. or something, isn't he, Deborah? He's in L. A., yes, and he's very successful now. He was in such a bad place. I never got to the place that he got to because I didn't add in the extras, the drugs, and I don't think that he would care that I said that. I never went there. But that takes you down a whole different rabbit hole. Okay? Yeah. And then the finances and the whole thing. So I never got to that extreme, but from where he went to and from where he is now, with the best credit score, a nice new car, a great job, money saved. It's wow, he looks great. I'm very proud of him. Very motivated me that if he can do that, I have to do this. Yeah. He must be so proud of you. He is very proud of me. He is very happy. He's excited to see this, when he comes out I mentioned it to him, so he wants to see. Yeah. Great. Aww, that's awesome. When do you think that you knew your family might have had not a good relationship with alcohol? When do you think you realized that? I would say when I was a kid when I saw them all the fighting and the drinking and I knew that was going to happen, the fighting was going to happen because it always did, and they started making any pity picking at each other. And before you know it, it's full blown and it's ugly and someone's leaving. Going on the door and you're like, that's not right because I've been at other people's friends houses that would have a glass of wine with supper and it was very, like formal feeling and it elegant, right? But not at my house. I can relate to that.

Kelly: 14:57

They do a full on shit show. Full shit show. Yeah. I'm envious of people that can just go to a beautiful event and have one drink and look beautiful and that's it, yeah. Yeah. But, that's not the way it is.

Lindsey: 15:13

No, I think too, you're a really successful professional and real estate agent and you're winning awards and you've got three kids and you're married. I think that there's a lot of pressure on women to be successful not only in their careers, but also at home. Do you think maybe that's why the everyday night drinking was happening or speak a little bit more about what you think was going on there?

Deborah: 15:40

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I'd love to tell I don't know how far I should go with this, but if you wanna hear the big bomb back in 2008 we lost everything when we moved here in 2000, we bought a business. Yep. Bought a house. And by 2008. We lost everything. Okay. Long story short, big city of Winnipeg contract, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, things went bad contractually. Okay. And not from us, but you can't fight city hall. That, that's all I'll say. And we couldn't come to an agreement. So we had to close the doors. So in closing the doors meant we lost everything in 2008. Okay. So I had three babies. I had a one, a three and a five year old. Wow. Holy shit. Okay. Everything, my house, my business, my car, my cottage, everything, and just had babies and my husband and it was just hell, and it's really weird. We actually went sober the year before that we were sober for a year. It was a time. But anyway, so my husband went up north. And that's the only he got an opportunity to go up north when up there was up there for a year and a half, I think worked 12 hours a day, seven days a week, sent me all the money. I've got the babies all by myself. Brutal. Wow. And saved the money and started up a renovation business for him so that when he came back, he had a job lined up in a place called Pinawa and ended up not having to go back up north. I helped him start a renovation business. That was 2009 or 10? No, nine. And then 2010 I became a realtor. So by 2013. He didn't have to swing a hammer anymore, and we were just relying on my income. So for the past Wow. Yeah, so I am the sole breadwinner, and yeah, the pressures, he's had health problems and this and that, so yeah. Definitely, I think that was my way to cope with so the end of the day, you're just like, shit, I just need to get Drunk and just go away. I deserve it. Yeah. I deserve it. Yes. I deserve to go away. And then unfortunately they used to have the same responsibilities the next day. You got to wake up with that happy face on, even though you feel like shit, because you don't feel great when you drink and keep going and going. And I did. And people didn't even know people had no idea. And apparently there's lots of people like that. I was just at my doctor today for a different thing and it came up because she wanted to know how I was doing, right? She says, you would believe how many professionals. Are big drinkers every night. Wow.

Kelly: 18:26

We've talked about it quite a few times on the podcast, Debra, about it's society and we're not shown or taught how to wind down. There's a message to achieve and be everything for your family. You were literally everything for your family. And then there's no tools. We're not given any tools. We're not taught how to health. fully manage at the end of the day, other than

Deborah: 18:51

now we are more and more you're seeing more and more right more and more you are seeing that but before yeah this is all real right very new like these kind of podcasts and yeah definitely

Tracey: 19:04

Most of the people we talk to and come across that's their situation that's why we really wanted to do this podcast and bring awareness to it because not everybody is that, lost everything in the streets, alcoholic, a lot of people that have a poor relationship with alcohol are everyday people like us just striving to do our best in life.

Kelly: 19:27

and

Lindsey: 19:28

also super successful people I'm reading this book right now and it's about reshaping your thought process around time management. In the beginning chapters of the book really stuck with me because it was like, what's the reward for being efficient? And doing well at your job or your life passion, it's not relaxation. It's more fucking work. If you're in a job and you're doing well and you're killing it, you're not rewarded with rest. They just add more to your plate. So the more you like the tasks expand.

Kelly: 20:05

I'm in sales too, and I imagine with your being a realtor, there is no limit. There's no limit to how much you can earn. No. So it's like, when do you stop? When is it enough?

Deborah: 20:16

Or when do you get help? And that's what I'm on the next level now, which I should have done years ago to have my own assistant. I did try to have an assistant a couple of times, but yeah, that's very difficult to find someone that you can train and that's going to do things the way you want them to do it. And it's just, it's easier to just do it yourself, do it yourself, stay up all night to answer it correctly and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so I like my own assistant and trying to find that, peace just been really trying to find peace. And why am I living in like you're saying, all we do is we work and we work and what is this life that all we do is work and work. What's the point. What is the point? Yeah. And we're supposed to have fun. So we have to manage, we have to start managing this. I can't just work all the time. I have to go to a concert with my husband, go to dinner. Yeah. Go to some games, watch my daughter play volleyball, blah, blah, blah. Go to the cabin, do nothing. Yes. It's so hard. To do nothing. It's so hard. be present

Lindsey: 21:18

because that's when I would wanna drink. In those times where I'm like, I'm gonna relax. That was my gut was to drive to the LC, the liquor store or a wine shop. And I'm like, I deserve it. I'm going to relax tonight. I shit you not like I'm like I woke up at 3am in my bed without pants on going who made these pizza rolls in the kitchen I like what I would do that by myself like what am I doing Oh no that's not relaxing right no but we think it is and so many people think it is yeah it's not that was like that commercial I was telling you guys about and I was telling my partner Richard about it. There was a Sunny Delight commercial in the States where it was a woman having a moment in her closet in the bedroom and she was adding champagne to Sunny D and oh,

Kelly: 22:10

and then everybody was, yeah, and then everybody was boycotting Tropicana and then they took it down. Yeah.

Lindsey: 22:18

Then they took it down, but it's like, why are we painting that narrative? Why is that when these overworked women closet drinking and having them a moment?

Kelly: 22:27

Yeah, that's so toxic. Oh boy. Super toxic. But yeah, like Deborah said, that's why we're doing this stuff. And there's more out there and there's more people that are, redefining what it looks like to be alcohol free. And you don't have to have, like you said, trace the rock bottom, be in the gutter, lose it all. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you guys can see, but I can see on people's face. I know which people. Oh yeah. Drinkers and are. Bingo. Is it something face the skin? I don't know. The puffiness.

Lindsey: 23:00

The eyes. The skin.

Tracey: 23:02

Puffiness. Puffiness is a big giveaway.

Deborah: 23:04

Yeah. Yeah, so I can see it. And then you listen to'em talk and you can hear things you used to say and feel them. And you just know it. And yeah. Anyways, hopefully we can just have an impact on some people and help. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. So what's life like now, Debra? So two years in, what's... It's great. Yeah. My doctor was just asking me today how it was going, how am I dealing with it? It wasn't an issue, believe it or not, with all the drinking and an everyday occurrence, I never had those withdrawals. I didn't. It didn t affect me like that at all. So it wasn t like, Oh, I got to have a drink. It s been a week. Oh, I m having the thing. Not at all. And now it s okay, planning your days out okay, what I want to eat. What s my workout going to be like? Different things like that. I get so much more accomplished in a day. I can sit on the couch and do nothing in the evening. Watch a movie.

Kelly: 24:05

Yeah. Do you have a replacement for your wine? Would you say it's your working out? What have you done instead of drink wine to wind down? TV. I like to work out in the morning. First thing. Yeah. Oh good. At the end of the day, I love that. Just kicking back on a couch and just staring at nothing and being entertained by someone on the TV, I love that.

Tracey: 24:31

You're netflix and chill now,

Deborah: 24:34

Really chill. Maybe have a snack, have something, does your husband still drink? Off and on. Hardly at all. Yeah. He would drink along with me and always wished I would quit. You know what I mean? He didn't really have a problem. He could take it or leave it kind of guy.

Tracey: 24:51

I was going to say, it's pretty amazing everything you've been through that you're still together and yeah,

Deborah: 24:57

that's true. Most people would not have stayed together because it was awful. It was absolutely an awful experience. And so you know I get a different experiences and situations with people in real estate where they're right to the edge and they need to sell their house. Okay. Wow. Really point of foreclosure and holy shit. Yeah, it's just about as bad as bankruptcy, really. If you go bankrupt and your house is in it or foreclosure, no one ever wants to lend to you ever again. It's even hard to rent a place. You know what I mean? Because they check for renting. So anyways, yeah, it's motivated me to try and help people when I get into situations like that. Which I do just recently I was in with someone and yeah it's horrible the looks on their face and you know the feeling of when you go in on a roller coaster and your stomach yes yeah that's

Lindsey: 25:51

that anxiety and I'm sure they're not sleeping at night and just the constant Panic and anxiety all the time.

Deborah: 25:57

100 percent And they're all drinking. And the way you work? Or the

Kelly: 26:10

energy that you're able to give to your work since you quit?

Deborah: 26:14

Absolutely. I get things done quicker, more effectively. You know what I mean? Yeah. I was really adamant about not letting alcohol interfere with my work. Okay. And so I did good. It's not like I made huge errors or ever had that kind of issue whatsoever, but it's just easier now if I could just, so that I can go organize a closet or whatever I'm feeling doing. You know what I mean? I'm like, yeah,

Tracey: 26:46

it sounds like you said, you would wait till you're done your workday to drink, but you were probably getting the after effects of it the next day. In the morning, that's probably where it was affecting you, right?

Deborah: 26:59

Oh, yeah. I always felt really bad in the morning. Definitely. Oh, I don't miss that at all. Yeah, I felt really bad. I would just suck it up. Try to hide it. I hope no one notices, and drink that coffee, pack on that makeup. I would never make appointments before one o'clock and it was starting to get closer to two o'clock. Design your schedule as a realist. Yeah. Never. I haven't. I did that. Yeah. Yeah. So about one o'clock, you're going, okay, I'm all right. I can do this. Yeah. But now it's you want to see me at 10? Sure. No problem. Or, nine o'clock meeting? Yeah, I can do this.

Kelly: 27:36

Yeah. You can show up,, literally and figuratively, you can show up More

Lindsey: 27:40

and you can show up, better for your clients, even I feel like listening to you talk alcohol probably had or was a real drain on your productivity. And now you're able to see people in the morning. And I feel like maybe you can talk a little bit about this. But I feel like industries like this with sales real estate, I feel like there's big drinking culture involved in that, whether it's, doing deals over drinks or partnerships or, networking conferences, it's always party time and drinking. What's your experience been with that?

Deborah: 28:15

Oh, for sure. At pretty much every event. besides teaching events, like a business planning event, you're not going to have alcohol there, but definitely there's always alcohol. And, the funny thing is I don't know how you guys were, but when I would go to a top achiever event or the Winnipeg real estate gala, when you get your awards at those I didn't drink. Maybe I'd have a glass of wine, maybe, but I wouldn't just because I knew who I was and how I could get and I'm not going to get that way in front. So it was a closet.

Lindsey: 28:45

Wow. Self awareness, though, about that. That's interesting.

Kelly: 28:50

Then would you go home and drink after? Oh,

Deborah: 28:52

yeah. Yeah. I couldn't wait to get out of there to get home and just pound it back, but never in public. Yeah, I wouldn't go there to those kind of things. I wouldn't. I'm trying to think back because I was at REMAX and I don't think I ever, no, back when I was in California before real estate at some parties, I would get pretty drunk when I was younger, but never real estate parties, but you see them, they do, right? Yeah. They're having fun, it's just, it is, but yeah, no, I was more closet.

Tracey: 29:23

So your socializing didn't change that much?

Deborah: 29:27

I'm not an ultra social person to begin with. I'm like an introverted person, honestly. Yeah, no, I don't think that would have changed too much because I'm not really at this point or the past maybe 15 years or real Oh, go out and party and stuff. It slowed up when the kids came around. So yeah, for the past 20 years not a lot of social, all kids, family, you say you're 21, 21, 19 and 17 now.

Kelly: 29:57

Okay. So what's their relationship like with alcohol drinks at parties randomly. It's pretty random. They know what mom and dad, he drank with me. Don't get me wrong. He drank along with me. So they watched us do that definitely is embedded in their minds. And I think to the point where they don't want to be that way. Yeah. Yeah. I'm finding the same with my kids. Yeah.

Deborah: 30:23

Yeah. And they're proud of you. How long are you sober?

Kelly: 30:27

It'll be six years in february. Yeah. Yeah.

Deborah: 30:30

And your kids are probably super proud, like my kids are so proud of me that I did that. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I never tell them not to drink, but it's, one has chose, the middle one has chosen not to at all. Pretty sure the youngest is on the same path and then the oldest does, but not problematic at all. Yeah. Yeah. But it definitely makes them aware. It does. It makes them aware. And I don't think any of them are going to have a problem. I think they're all just, social have a drink here and there. And, yeah. Yeah.

Tracey: 31:01

Have you had some conversations with them at all, Deborah? Have they asked you or talked to you openly about, you deciding to stop?

Deborah: 31:09

Oh, yeah. Yeah. When I first quit, I didn't say a word. I wanted to see how long it took them to notice. And did they? Oh, yeah, they noticed. It's like, where's your drink? Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, it didn't take long. It didn't take long, but they're realizing mom's not drinking. What's going on? Yeah. They're all really happy about it. And as the days, months, years go by. Yeah, they love it. Once in a while, my husband will have a drink, like there's some new drink out or whatever, he goes, he'll say, do you wanna taste? Oh, they get so mad at him. Dad temping her protective of you? Yeah. Would you? I'm like, I don't need to taste it. How different could it be from whatever, yeah. So yeah, the kids, they watch us. They watch us. Hundred percent. Yeah, this whole the whole thing. I think the escalation of the drinking during that part, right? And they're all aware of that. Just seeing it on TV and everything, social media, the billboards. I don't know where you guys are. There were like a lot of billboards going up about being cautious about. Not drinking too much

Lindsey: 32:15

and yes, and eating with your alcohol and pacing it out and having water in between. I saw a lot of those on over the Disraeli bridge.

Deborah: 32:24

Yeah, because it's a problem for sure. I think a lot of people use that time and just drink. Yeah, I think the kids get a little scared and it's very expensive too. So it's expensive to be an alcoholic. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Tracey: 32:42

My dad was a really heavy drinker and I can't remember the amount he was spending on alcohol, but I want to say it was about 1, 100 a month. Yeah.

Deborah: 32:51

What?

Tracey: 32:51

Yes. Yeah, because in the peak of his drinking he was drinking like 40 of vodka a day.

Kelly: 33:00

Oh my god. Yeah, it's crazy. That's crazy. It would take about two and a half days. Wow. Yep. Wow.

Lindsey: 33:07

I was going to ask you, you had shared a story with me and I wanted to know if you would speak a little bit about the experience that you had with that person and what happened with their relationship with alcohol. I don't know if you want to just talk about that briefly.

Deborah: 33:26

Yeah, I can tell a story. It is a family member. So this happened a year ago. So I would have been one year sober when this went down with this particular individual that was having issues with drinking too much and taking pill benzos, I guess you call it, whatever other problems was going on. So mixing that and just. You just get shit faced, and anyway, long story short that individual's problems ended up causing them to fall and was hitting their head, splitting their head open on an ongoing basis. Yeah, the last episode was literally fell on. A face in a bathroom at a hotel split the lip open and open, so it swelled to the proportions. look like a monster, you guys. It was oh, it was just a shirt. Hey, it was unreal. Look like a monster. Anyways, so airlifted to HFSC and it was quite a scene. So I went in to try and talk. To this person because I was close with this person for many years. And I thought it was like a last chance to try and talk because I knew that this person was close to death. Very close to death. Yeah. The level of alcohol and drugs that was going into the body. And you could just tell there. Very sick individual, very sick. So now in the hospital and the doctors are questioning the alcohol consumption to the spouse, ask what's going on. And the problem is there's hiding that goes on. People try and cover when they're sick and dying, literally dying. I went in and talked, and it seemed really understanding, and on board with, making some changes until the spouse came in. And literally just turned and started saying, I don't want to talk about this anymore. This is stressing me out. This person can't even hardly talk you guys cause their lips in half and it's this big and they're talking. It's just crazy. Wow. Didn't want to talk anymore. Anyway. Long story short, get out of the hospital we were hoping that they were going to stay and get some treatment. This would be a good time to get some treatment, be away from the family that was also helping to instigate the alcohol. Siblings all drinking, everyone drinking together. And get out of the hospital, get to the hotel, just wanted to go home. Just wanted to get on the plane and go home. And I was like, damn. And while we're sitting there. The doctor said I can have a drink one drink I'm allowed to have and I was like, Oh my God, how could you even drink, where you can stick us, maybe you can stick a straw and I guess I don't know. So that was a year ago, right around this time last year. And within weeks, because now on December 20th we get a phone call that this person had overdrank again in between this time and December 20th, there were a couple more phone falls. Okay. Getting so drunk and falling again and and get a phone call that this person. Woke up, decided to go on the exercise bike, always pretended to get on the exercise bike. Oh, yeah. With a glass of wine in the hand. Crazy. Wow. Threw up while coughing and the throw up went into the lungs. Yeah. And everything went really bad. Really fast. This person was asthmatic as well. It was really bad, really fast. And we went to the hospital. Before we know it, this person was in an induced coma. They had to go into the lung to try and take the throw up out of the one side. Yeah, that all messed up. And so the lung collapsed. And the other lung was barely working the kidneys were shutting down liver everything was shutting and on Christmas Day, they had to make the decision no guys, and yeah died last Christmas. I'm so sorry. That's terrible, brutal, and I just have this image of the spin bike with a glass of wine. I find it so glamorized still. There's still people posting alcohol on their social media and thinking they need it to be part of everything they do, but that's the reality of it. That's what it. Can turn into that's such a sad story.

Tracey: 38:03

I'm not an expert of any means but isn't Benzo usually so people can stop drinking. Isn't that given as part of.

Deborah: 38:12

No. I think it's a narcotic for sure. I think it's a painkiller. Yeah. The pain management medicine pain and had something to do with shaking, like saying, but I think the reason that was happening was because Alcohol withdrawal. Yeah. Hadn't had a drink because wake up in the morning and like this. Yeah. Yeah. 59 years old you guys. 59. Not an old person. That's so sad. And I'm so mad, I'm so mad that this person's gone because this person just, had a big part of my life and a hundred percent.

Tracey: 38:50

We talked about this on an episode and we're not experts, but like why is a doctor prescribing something like that if they know someone's drinking?

Deborah: 39:01

They didn't know you guys well. I guess there's that. Yeah. They were hiding there. There was hiding. I used to lie my, even at my annual physical, oh yeah. I lie. My doctor would ask me all the time, how many drinks a week do you have? I was like, three. Times five, like,

Lindsey: 39:22

yeah, like we all, I feel like we all have done that. Maybe not all of us, but

Kelly: 39:28

no, I don't think.

Deborah: 39:31

Yeah, so there was definitely lying going on. And anyway, it's such a bummer. So we're coming up to the one year and the whole family's all bent out of shape and here's the weird thing is okay, so one year into it, I was close with this person. I almost noticed getting picked at like little. We'll pick some knit and pick and knit and pick because I wasn't that drinking partner anymore, right? I wasn't the drinking partner anymore. And and I knew that's what was going on. And as this person was getting more intoxicated and making little comments to me, I would just just let it go, cause you feel bad. Cause you feel like you got control over your life and they haven't yet. So you take it on a chin, right? Yeah.

Tracey: 40:13

And you don't want to appear like you're all high and mighty or, you want to be, that there was a time where you could be in that person's position, like you're drinking was bordering that I've been in that position with people too, that are close to me I could look at and think. It could have been a couple months down the road for me and I could have been there. So you want to be sympathetic and supportive, but it is hard if someone's in denial of their own relationship with it, right?

Deborah: 40:46

Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's got to do it at their own pace. For sure. I'd like to, I'd love to say, Oh, I did another month. It's three months. It's six months for myself. I don't want to be there. That's fine. Whatever. Do you know what I mean?

Kelly: 41:01

Oh, totally. Yeah. Yeah. You just got to share your own truth. And then, some people will be annoyed by it and people will be inspired by it and you don't get to choose who's which one's which. Yeah. Yeah.

Tracey: 41:14

But you deserve to celebrate too. Absolutely. You absolutely deserve that.

Deborah: 41:19

I think so. You feel like celebrating every day when you wake up and you get up and yeah, I feel good. You can still feel good.

Lindsey: 41:30

That's exactly it. I can't imagine, I'm in Newfoundland right now and I can't imagine, I'm at a conference and I probably would have had wine on this work trip and I am tired. But people are like, you look fantastic. I'm like that's great, but I can only imagine, like I was looking back at pictures of myself and I was just like, oh my God, who is that person? Debra. I bet you probably feel like that too. You, made some pretty, yeah. I could show some pudgy pictures a few years ago. Yeah. Oh yeah, I've lost 30 pounds, it just, yeah, not even trying. Yeah. Wow. All those calories from alcohol.

Deborah: 42:16

Yeah, I figured around a thousand calories a day. Probably.

Lindsey: 42:21

Yeah, maybe more because I used to eat a wheel of brie with that.

Kelly: 42:24

Yeah, exactly. The snacks. The chips. Yeah. It's not just the alcohol you eat stupidly when you're drunk. Yes. Yeah. And hungover. Like I always ate terribly when I was hungover. I'd crave fries and stuff like that too. The grease. Yeah. The hair of the dog. Yeah. To make ourselves feel better. Yeah. I could never do that. No?

Lindsey: 42:50

No, I would never drink two days in a row. I could never do that. That's how shitty I felt. I was just like, Oh God, I can't.

Kelly: 42:58

I just knew that was the only thing that was going to make me feel better. It was so scary.

Deborah: 43:05

I looked forward to being done so I could have that drink.

Kelly: 43:08

Yeah. But my time, did your time get earlier and earlier? Like you were saying around eight o'clock when you knew you didn't have to talk to anybody anymore. I found myself justifying that first glass of wine, like earlier and earlier. In the evening.

Deborah: 43:22

No, No. I knew that phone could ring and I. Yeah. Yeah. Funny. And I know I have to answer. I'm real funny answering the phone. I like to answer, but I was noticing that if I got into a situation, which a lot of times in real estate, you do where you're stuck with a deal and people until 10, 10 30 at night, 11. Oh, I was getting annoyed, feeling weird I don't even know the feeling. Almost a panicky kind of feeling.'cause I, yeah, me, I'm like, definitely three hours, past four hours, whatever. And yeah, feeling weird. Almost like your eyes are getting saggy. I don't know how to describe it. And yeah, I get home. I just, woo. Yeah. Yeah.

Lindsey: 44:06

What are some things you can tell our listeners about just some truths that, now that you're not drinking alcohol things that, to be true now about not drinking.

Deborah: 44:18

Things that I know to be true now about drinking,

Lindsey: 44:21

about not drinking, because I know, I was really scared to give it up. I thought, what am I gonna do? How am I even gonna socialize or fit in? Are people gonna think I'm weird? Like am I gonna have anxiety all the time trying to go out and be in regular settings and people are gonna bug me? Hey, Lynns like, where's the wine? Ha. And I'm like, leave me alone. I know, like I told you guys I wasn't really a social person, going to these events, I got to be honest, going to these different events that we go to, I've always been uncomfortable with going to them. Maybe part of the reason was because I knew I wasn't going to be able to relax and have my drink because I didn't want to drink in front of people, but now I enjoy going to them, because I don't. And I'm fine, I can go talk to anyone. Plus I'm a little older and you just get this different whole feeling about life and people and everything. It's I can go talk to anyone just like my husband in the grocery store. He just talks to everyone. So I'm starting to get more like that now that I feel good all the time. Yeah. Yeah. So now I'm wanting to go so where I thought I couldn't go now I'm going and enjoying it and I'm starting to get more more involved in these things with the office where I was always never involved with anything with the office. And I love it. It's fun.

Tracey: 45:44

It's like a comfortability with self, right? We all say we start to experience, yeah. As you are really being more your authentic self. You're not an altered version.

Deborah: 45:56

There you go. Yeah. I'm actually getting out there, getting to know people, being involved in the group, all these different classes and courses and stuff. And just, yeah, wanting to go to the parties. Like I didn't go to the gala, the Winnipeg real estate gala for the past, did I go last? No, I didn't go. I think I'll go this year though. I think I will go. I wasn't quite ready. It's such a huge thing. And I've always been, I don't know, all these people and they all know you, you go into thousands of people, they all know who I am. And it's Oh my God, I think this year I think I'm ready. I'm ready to go. Good.

Lindsey: 46:36

I love that. I feel like you just shine you have this vibe, this energy and I love it. I just. Yeah, I think you're just, you're such a good person asked to be on this podcast because we were talking about man, we need some people to come on that are everyday, real people that are in cities that we live in. And we're all women here and we're professionals and we've got our side hustles and we know we're. working hard and we're taking care of our bodies. And I was like, we've got to get together with more of these people. Yeah. I was like, Debra would be perfect. Yeah, this is something so different for me and so different. And I think it's good. It's good. It's great.

Kelly: 47:22

Yeah, we always find that it feels like our own meeting or our own therapy session. We get so much out of it to with our own healing. Yeah.

Deborah: 47:32

Yeah. Yeah. I think speaking these things and out loud and hearing yourself in your own head, I think it's just one more measure of healing. Absolutely.

Kelly: 47:42

Yeah, and you're sharing it openly and, just living your truth and you will most definitely inspire our listeners and other people out in the world that get to meet you. And I think, yeah, I think you're amazing, Debra. Thank you. I think you guys are amazing. I think you're going to inspire people. Lindsay said at the beginning. Your energy is great. And that's one thing we talked about recently. We had an episode about having a higher vibration. Or living at a higher vibration. After giving up alcohol. And you're really putting that out in the world. Like how Lindsay is describing you.

Deborah: 48:16

You definitely you feel different. I think we all have that within us and the alcohol definitely suppresses it. It pulls you right in, right? And with it being gone, you're just like, boom, you're just, you just talk to anyone and you want to make people feel like you, but we have stuff to be careful. Cause you don't want to be in their face, right? That doesn't work, follow by our example, they can follow by our example is probably the best way. And, there's anyone out there that I guess that wants to talk to any of us that can always contact us, cause you have a very sweet face too.

Lindsey: 48:54

I think you coming on the podcast, I think you're going to inspire young professionals, especially women coming up in these sales and real estate industries that you can do this career and be successful. Like you win awards, you just won an award and you can be so productive and so successful and do it without alcohol. And that's why you needed to be here today.

Deborah: 49:17

Yeah. Alcohol does not need to be in the picture. It just need to be in the picture and it is so what do you glamorized and it's just not glamorous. Come on. We all know how we feel when we have, it's not that great. It's just not that good. And it only gets worse as it goes on, so I don't know.

Lindsey: 49:36

Deborah, where can people find you on social media?

Deborah: 49:39

Instagram, Facebook.

Lindsey: 49:41

Sweet. And what's your handle? Is it Deborah LeBlanc?

Deborah: 49:44

It's Deborah J. LeBlanc for Instagram. Sweet. Deborah J. LeBlanc. We can put the link in the show notes. Yeah, it out. Yeah, I think I wrote it down. I'm so bad at remembering all of those. I know my email address, I know my phone number.

Tracey: 50:05

You sent me all your info, I think, Deborah, so I'll put it in the show notes for our listeners.

Deborah: 50:10

Yeah, I think nowadays, if you just like in the search bar, you just put the name and it always pops up. Yeah. Yeah. You'll pop up there for sure. I have a social media manager and care of all my, all of that for me for just two years now.

Kelly: 50:27

We need that. We need one of those. None of us are posting consistently, and we know we need to, but, yeah.

Deborah: 50:36

I know, and she's always bugging me to do more personal content. It's hard during those busy months, but now my next, like December and January and February are pretty quiet. So I'll be working on a lot of personal content to be uploading. I like to cook, and I... Yeah. And a bit of that and, just fun stuff. Cool. Cool. Okay. I'm definitely going to follow you.

Lindsey: 50:56

Everybody, that is the wrap on today's episode. Thank you so much for tuning in and don't forget to follow our show so that you can get our new content. Our episodes come out every Tuesday and we want to make sure that you don't miss out. All right. Thanks, Deborah, for coming on and sharing a bit of your story and talking about your experience with alcohol in your life now. Without it, it's so appreciated.

Deborah: 51:26

You're very welcome. It was great being you guys. Thanks, debra. Thanks, Debra. And you guys know what to do. Keep laughing.

Kelly: 51:37

Thank you for listening. Please give us a five star rating like and subscribe, share on social media and tell your friends. We love getting your feedback and ideas of what you'd like to hear on upcoming episodes of the LAF life podcast. If you yourself are living alcohol free and want to share your story here, please reach out.