Dreams & Life's Unexpected Lessons

On June 20, 2017, I walked down the historic aisles of Convocation Hall at the University of Toronto to receive my MBA degree. Before stepping off the stage, heart still pumping, I looked up slightly to the right and threw a smile to my family who were beaming from ear to ear. Weeks after, my 7 year old daughter would still say, "Mommy is the boss. She is smart because she graaaaaduated!" Her emphasis on the word graduated #StillMakesMeSmile.

This isn't a blog about preaching to you that you should go and get your MBA - although I'm a big proponent of the important role formal education plays in our personal growth and development. This is a personal vignette about making dreams a reality, about realizing those goals we can't seem to forget and get out of our heads. It's about missed opportunities, the lessons they teach us and what we do each and every day to learn and grow.

1) Write down your goals and re-visit them often, especially if you can't forget about them!

I had dreamed of earning my MBA for over a decade. I faced my first real fork-in-the-road moment as I was starting my undergrad. I was equally passionate about the sciences as I was about commerce but I made the decision to pursue the former, making a written pact with myself to one day earn my MBA. 

As soon as I graduated, I looked for a job while I contemplated my "what's next?" and my only requirement was that it needed to be in Customer Service. Ironically (or fatefully) my search led me straight to Canada Trust. I was confident within a couple years I would be back at school, barely skipping a beat, realizing my dream. I underestimated how easy it would be to constantly push that goal aside in the midst of adult life evolving.

I had started my first real job and was saving and planning for both a wedding and a first house. By 2003, the academic bug had gotten to me and I enrolled in a part-time Certificate in Project Management program at Western University. The MBA dream would pop up every once in a while and, like a whack-a-mole, I would thump it back into oblivion. There was simply too much on my plate now for full-time studies – work, school and we were also expecting our first child. The MBA dream didn't present the same sense of urgency it once had. I was in a perfect state of equilibrium and in full control of my life and future. Then an unexpected life event profoundly changed everything.

2) When opportunities are missed in the short-term, go with the flow and take note of the lessons for the long-term

I unexpectedly found myself a new mother to the tiniest preemie boy weighing only 1.5 lbs. Suddenly the MBA dream was even further away and the only thing that mattered was this little life who had come into the world way too soon and whose future was very uncertain. The planner in me who was always in control was traumatized but he became my sole focus. Having a baby in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for any amount of time is an experience that can only truly be appreciated by those who have found themselves in that intensely uncertain reality. The experience forces you to throw away any planning instincts and notions of control as soon as you walk into the unit.

Years later, our NICU experience is still raw for me but it has also taught me so much about myself and about navigating through life and career. I am enormously grateful for the work flexibility that allowed me to work opposite shifts with my husband so we could continue to personally care for our son and juggle his many appointments after my maternity leave. It meant that while we saw little of each other and couldn't consider major career changes, we were able to be a constant for our son. It took years for the lessons from our NICU experience to mold into something meaningful for me. The powerlessness, lack of control and helplessness I felt so often through that experience taught me to nurture, to be grateful for, and be empowered by the times when I wasn't helpless and powerless. It was empowering to know that I had control in how I navigated my career, for example, by choosing to take on challenging roles or stretch assignments. I valued the opportunity to shape a role and when presented with unique challenges, pushed myself harder to make sure I would continuously learn and grow.

3) Make every effort to make your dreams a reality and be intentional about continuously learning and growing

It took three years but I finally completed my project management certificate and transitioned to a new role. Then in 2014, I found myself going back to my dream from many years ago. I was at a critical juncture again and felt formal education was going to play a key role in my development. However, this was now a family decision and as a result became a more complex one. My family became my biggest champions, the main reason the decision to enroll was a simple one to make, and in September 2015, I embarked on a challenging 13-month MBA journey. 

Reflecting back now, I'm humbled by all the influences that led to this dream finally becoming a reality. From putting a dream on hold, for what I was confident would be short-term, to start my grown-up life, to putting an intentional pause on career progression to take care of my child which ironically - or in hindsight not so ironically at all - led to the realization that we're are all empowered with the ability to choose and control our career paths even if it's choosing to put a dream temporarily on pause.

Originally written and published on a different platform in 2017.